


Stability

by ForgottenChesire



Series: Christmas '19 [3]
Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: A Little Bit of Humor, Fluff, M/M, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-19 08:42:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22274872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgottenChesire/pseuds/ForgottenChesire
Summary: Idly he runs his fingers down Bon’s arm. Tracing old symbols from memory on the skin. Fingers twitch as he allows himself to admit how far he has come. From who he was, where he was. Bon moves; a flex of the arm, snuffles into the pillow like a child. Hot hair brushes the top of Rin’s head. He freezes not daring to breathe; don't let Bon wake. He thinks over and over.They have had a hectic week. They need their sleep, Bon needs his sleep. And unlike what his brother thinks, fuck you Yukio, he can be silent when it is needed. When Bon doesn't wake, just snuffles a few more times, Rin lets out a long and happy sigh. His eyes open and adjust to the room.
Relationships: Okumura Rin/Suguro "Bon" Ryuuji
Series: Christmas '19 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603357
Comments: 33
Kudos: 143





	Stability

**Author's Note:**

> Warning, may be a bit ooc? I love you and hope this isn't terrible. Happy late Christmas

His heart is pounding, thudding against his chest, as he goes from fitfully sleeping to wide awake. Eyes wide as he stares up at the ceiling counting the cracks. He grounds himself. Slowly. With the firmness of the bed. The softness of the pillows. The weight of the blanket. But most importantly the warmth of the body lying next to him. His husband. These things help Rin put away the nightmare. Makes it to where he can close his eyes, carefully turns into his and snuggle into Bon. Put away all the fear and bask. That is what he tries to do. Bask in the love, the stability. The fact that he has something to protect and someone to protect him.

Idly he runs his fingers down Bon’s arm. Tracing old symbols from memory on the skin. Fingers twitch as he allows himself to admit how far he has come. From who he was, where he was. Bon moves; a flex of the arm, snuffles into the pillow like a child. Hot hair brushes the top of Rin’s head. He freezes not daring to breathe; _don't let Bon wake._ He thinks over and over.

They have had a hectic week. They need their sleep, _Bon_ needs his sleep. And unlike what his brother thinks, _fuck you Yukio_ , he can be silent when it is needed. When Bon doesn't wake, just snuffles a few more times, Rin lets out a long and happy sigh. His eyes open and adjust to the room.

It's dark, though light tried to come in through the shades. He hadn't noticed that before. The way the light stretched out. Rin drags his eyes away from the wall and onto Bon. Watches him sleep. But the problem with watching a person sleep, no matter how much you love them, is your mind wonders. It glosses over the features it's memorized time and time again. And like that stretch of light it spreads out. Goes to places it shouldn't. Like a curious child, it wonders.

The nightmare. It's cold. Always so damn cold. And he’s alone in the dark. There is something on the floor. Wet. Becoming sticky. So much bl- No. Nope. Rin refuses to think about it. About the faces his eyes had come to see in the dark. He frowns, Bon isn't enough tonight to keep it away. The pervading thoughts masked as bad dreams that twist and turn. Most of the time Bon is. Rin will lay and stare until the soft twitch if lips speaking words with no sounds lulls him into a sleep-like state. But when that fails? He cooks. And cooks and cooks until his legs give out underneath him, or Bon wraps an arm around his shoulders- the other turning off whatever appliance in front of Rin.

His tail unwraps from Bon’s leg, and slowly he starts to wiggle out of the hold he is in.

“Noooo.”

The sleep slurred word causes him to freeze. Tail out straight like a cat.

“Stay. Warm. Not time yet.”

It's a mutter, a reflex as arms squeeze him gently. Rin smiles, tail rewrapping around Bon. Just for a moment. He’ll stay. Get a kiss, soft and lingering. Press their foreheads together, kiss Bon deeper, harder, with need that isn't sexual at all. He clutches Bon. Like a child almost. Bon clutches back. _Fuck you, Yukio_ , he thinks again.

“Go back to sleep,” he says when they pull apart. 

There are dark bags under Bon’s eyes. Like there are under his. Adulthood means less endless energy. Less bouncing back. Means dark bags, wrinkles, and bruises that take a bit longer to fade away.

“Only if you do,” Bon counters. He’s already almost asleep. 

Rin rolls his eyes fondly, closes them. He doesn't expect to fall asleep. But he does. The sandman hits him with a hammer instead of dust and down he goes for the count. Doesn't wake up until high pitched squeals jolt him awake.

Two bundles of energy jump onto the bed. Their young voices rising in excitement. Little bodies bouncing and littler hands wave as they talk.

“Daddy! Daddy! Papa burned the toast!”

“We weren't supposed to tell you-”

“Or wake you-”

“But, Daddy, he’s making _eggs_ -”

“And he wants to make pancakes too!”

Rin laughs. Loudly and carefree. Allows the twins to pull him up. Follows them down the hall full of pictures and into the kitchen. Standing there in the doorway he can smell the faint scent of smoke. There are windows open and light streams in without constraint. Bon is at the stove, scowling down at the stove, the pan where scrambled eggs are slowly burning.

The children laugh, leaving Rin to his staring. They race up to Bon, stopping right before the hot stove and voicing their presence. Bon turns away from the stove, all his attention on their babies. Spatula waving, slinging bits of uncooked egg about. A sense of peace settles around Rin. This is his life now. Filled with love and stability. He has this and those who naysayed can go fuck themselves. He pushes out of the doorway.

“Alright, back away from the stove. I'm here, let me rescue my kitchen.”

Bon laughs, steps away from the stove. They kiss, sweetly and chastely, to the groans of their children.

“I love you,” Bon says, pressing kisses to Rin’s cheek.

“I love you too.”

With that Rin turns to what is left of breakfast, doing what he can to save it. Behind him, he can hear Bon talking to their children. Teasing them. Laughter fills the room. Back when he was young, when he fought off bullies who were cruel to pigeons, he never thought he would have this. Never thought it would be with Bon. But he has it now.

He has it and the only thing he would change is Bon’s skill at scorching his pans. It's like he does it on purpose. And he says as much to Bon, gaining more laughter. Yes. This is the life. And it is his.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:  
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